BUS RIDE

FADE IN.
INT. GREYHOUND BUS – NIGHT
Teenager NICK sits by the window playing a noisy hand-held game device.  He glances up when an attractive but disheveled woman in her late 30s, BETH, swings a stuffed backpack onto his lap and plops down in the seat next to him.

NICK
Hey!

BETH
(exhaling)
Whew!

NICK shoves the pack over towards BETH.

NICK
Hey!

BETH
What?

NICK
Can you please put your crap under the seat or somewhere else besides my lap?

BETH
You made a rhyme... Get your crap, off my lap.  I bet I could turn that into a limerick...
There once was a kid on a bus...

NICK makes an aggravated noise in his throat, raises his eyebrows, gestures “What about the pack?”

BETH
Oh, yeah.  Sorry.

She jams the backpack on the floor in between their legs, still inconveniencing NICK.  He pulls his legs away and turns back to his violent-sounding game.
BETH  hums in a limerick cadence to herself for a few seconds, then grabs her pack and digs around in it.  She pulls out a sandwich bag and waves it to get NICK’s attention.

BETH
Peep?

NICK
(shoots her a "What the f*ck look")

BETH
Peep?

NICK
What?

BETH
Want a peep?

She takes out a candy and pops it into her mouth, then holds up another one for him to inspect.

BETH
They only used to be yellow chicks; now they make all kinds.  These are marshmallow pumpkins, you know, for Halloween.

NICK
(taking a peep)
But it’s almost Christmas.
(he bites into it... reacts)

BETH
They’re a little stale.  I was in a hurry and had to grab whatever was in the pantry.

She stuffs the baggie away, and pulls out a GPS unit and a small notebook.  She turns on the GPS and consults the notebook.  NICK watches her.  He’s starting to be intrigued in spite of himself.

NICK
Is that a GPS?

BETH
(distracted)
Uh huh.  Ever hear of geocaching?

NICK
Yeah, I guess so.  You go around finding stuff?

BETH
They’re not “stuff.”  They’re “caches.”

NICK
Whatever.  Sounds like a waste of time.

BETH
(turning her full attention to the kid)
No, it’s really fun.  Like playing hide and seek all over the world.  I’ve only been able to look for caches pretty close to home so far, but that’s about to change.  As soon as I pick up my daughter, we’re heading out for... for... well, I’m not really sure yet, but I am sure there will be geocaches no matter where we go.

NICK
Caches sound like trash to me.  I don’t see what’s fun about a litterbug scavenger hunt.

BETH
(reciting)
He picked up a cache, and thought it was trash...

NICK
Are you mocking me?

BETH
Muggle.

NICK
(getting mad)
What?

BETH
Muggle.  You know, from Harry Potter.  A non-magical person, or in this case, a non-geocacher, a dolt who doesn’t know his longitude from a hole in the ground.

NICK
I know what a muggle is, and longitude too for that matter.  I just don’t like games that don’t have any point.

BETH
(gestures towards gaming device)
Oh, and I suppose shooting nazi zombies is going to help mankind find a cure for the common cold?

NICK
(haughty)
They are not nazi zombies.  They’re zombie nazis.

BETH
(laughs and holds out her hand)
I’m Beth.

NICK
(yielding and shaking her hand)
Nick.  Sorry I was being a dick... Yeah, I know...
There once was a guy named Nick
Who couldn’t help being a dick...

BETH
(laughs)

NICK
I’m just really stressed out.

BETH
Christmas tends to have that effect on people. All that peace on earth shit.

NICK
(sarcastic)
It’ll be a piece all right.
I’m going to my dad’s house.

BETH
(understanding)
Ahh... You live with your mom?

NICK
Yeah.  They split up when I was a kid.  She thinks it’s important for me to “maintain the paternal connection.”  As if he and Cindy give a rat’s ass.  They just like having an on-call 24-hour babysitter so they can hit all their yuppy cocktail parties.

BETH
Ahh...

NICK
Hey, I’m sorry to dump on you.  It’s not important.

BETH
(pausing to mull something over)
Why don’t you ditch your dad’s and go geocaching with me and Lizzy?

NICK
Who’s Lizzy, your daughter?  Why would I do that?  I don’t even know you.

BETH
It was just a thought.  I thought cuz I’m running away, I might persuade you to run away too.
(seeing NICK’s puzzled look)
OK, here’s my sordid story in a nutshell.  My husband’s a control freak, won’t even let me have my own car.  I stuck with him for Lizzy’s sake but last September he sent her to military school.  Bad grades, mouthing off, cigarettes, nothing I didn’t at thirteen. Nothing I don’t do now for that matter. (laughs ruefully)
I think he would have liked to send me off as well, but they have an age limit.

NICK
So you’re grabbing her from the military school and running away together?

BETH
If my husband doesn’t beat me there.  He’s out of town on business until tomorrow so I have a head start.

NICK
Jeez... It sounds kind of exciting, but if I don’t get off the bus in Sacramento my dad will have a hemorrhage.

BETH
You’re right.  I shouldn’t be a bad influence on a good kid.
(glances past him out the window)
Looks like we’re pulling into the Sacramento bus station now.

NICK gathers up his things.  BETH stands up to make room for him to exit.
BETH
Well, it was nice meeting you, Nick the dick.  Hope you have a good Christmas.

NICK
(flustered, rushing)
Yeah, you too.  Good luck with the geocaching thing.

NICK leaves, brushing against a MAN entering the bus.  BETH is looking at the GPS and doesn’t see the MAN approach her seat.

MAN
There once was a woman named Beth...

BETH’s head jerks up.  The MAN is obviously her husband.

FADE TO BLACK.